What an amazing weekend I had...the sermon Greg gave last night (and this morning) was amazing. I mean, they always are....but sometimes there's that one that just stands out, and this was one of those.
We heard about Stephen (from the book of Acts) who was stoned to death for his faith. He was spreading the word of God and someone decided to start rumors about him, saying he was speaking blasphemy. So he's arrested and brought before the Sanhedrin and basically, after a nice long speech, tells them that THEY were responsible for killing the Messiah. He is then dragged out of the city where people throw rocks at him until he is dead.
What most people don't know is that Christians are still persecuted today all around the world. In fact, Christianity is one of the MOST persecuted religions in the world. Two hundred million people are denied the very basic human rights simply because they are Christians. Literally hundreds of thousands of people are being killed, sold as slaves, discriminated against, put in prison, tortured, and/or threatened, solely because they are Christians. The extent of of the persecution and suffering is something we can hardly begin to fathom, and it's all because of their faith.
Here, we can talk about church. We can go as many times as we want in a week. We can tell our friends we are Christians. We can wear cheesy Christian T-shirts and crosses around our necks. We can put little fish on the backs of our cars and sit in coffee shops reading our Bibles. We can put big green signs with the word JESUS written in big white letters across it in our front yards. Churches can advertise with billboards, radio stations can play songs about God and crazy televangelists can yell at you through your TVs. Oh yeah, you can also choose not to get your children vaccinated and then when they start school you just tell them it's because of religious reasons....(I may be using this one in the future!)
The thing that gets me is that, despite all this, so many of us are afraid to talk about our faith. We're afraid people will think we're weird...yet there are people across the globe who could be KILLED for it and do it anyway. They are that passionate about what they believe. What are we so afraid of?
It's something I struggle with a little because I've always had a hard time having discussions w/ people about what I believe. I think my fear isn't that people will think it's weird, but that I won't do God justice. I get nervous when I'm put on the spot and then end up having a really hard time getting the words out that I need. So basically I'm afraid of looking like I don't know what I'm talking about. The knowledge is all in my head, and it comes back to me here and there, but I can never get it out eloquently....again, making it appear as if I have no idea what I'm saying.
But maybe I shouldn't let that bother me. Maybe I should be ok w/ looking like an idiot...if I'm doing it for God. I mean, King David danced around in his underwear, in public, when he was praising God, so I kinda feel like stumbling over my words a little bit is pretty minor in the long run. God is perfectly capable of taking my idiotic ramblings and turning them into something beautiful that touches another person.
So, while it may sometimes seem like things are bad......think about the people in a church compound in India who's pastor was just released from prison, who was there because he was a Christian. Think of the people who attend every week knowing that their lives could be in danger because there is a Hindu extremist group that they believe has infiltrated their church. Think of people like this who thirst so much for the truth that they put their lives at risk to recieve it and who can't even talk about it openly.
We really have it so easy.
Persecution.org - See what's really going on around the world.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Something I've Never Done Before
This coming Monday our Explorations class starts at church. It's a class mainly for people with questions about God. A place where any and every question is allowed and encouraged. It's a place where you can not only ask these questions, but a place where you will not be made to feel out of place or uncomfortable for asking some of the difficult ones. It's a safe environment for people of all faiths who are seeking a deeper understanding of the God that I worship.
And here's the kicker, I'm actually facilitating this time around. I've never facilitated a table before, and to be honest I was a little freaked out at the thought of THIS class being the first one. There are a few other classes I could have done that would have made this first time a little less scary.
I know that I'm not expected to have answers to everything. I'm not expected to be a Bible scholar. The people that lead the class have made this VERY clear.
But there's still a part of me that worries I will be a huge failure. I worry that something will come up that I'm clueless about and that my response will be to just freeze up and say nothing. Again, I'm not expected to have answers for everything, and they did set me up with a very experienced co-facilitator.
I KNOW things will be good. I KNOW that I am here for a purpose. I have been in situations where I've felt God speak through me and I know He's perfectly capable of doing it again. He has all the right words, and He certainly can make them come out of my mouth.
As this class gets closer, I am filled with a variety of emotions. A little fear, some nervousness....but mostly excitement. I'm excited to see what God does through this class. I know amazing things always happen (I've heard the stories!) and I know He will come through for us again.
I am also grateful. INCREDIBLY grateful for the people that God has put in my life, people who have seen potential in me and called it out and helped me to develop it. This is just another one of those situations I never would have pictured myself in if you'd asked me 2 years ago.
So anyway.....God is pretty amazing. And that's all for now. :)
And here's the kicker, I'm actually facilitating this time around. I've never facilitated a table before, and to be honest I was a little freaked out at the thought of THIS class being the first one. There are a few other classes I could have done that would have made this first time a little less scary.
I know that I'm not expected to have answers to everything. I'm not expected to be a Bible scholar. The people that lead the class have made this VERY clear.
But there's still a part of me that worries I will be a huge failure. I worry that something will come up that I'm clueless about and that my response will be to just freeze up and say nothing. Again, I'm not expected to have answers for everything, and they did set me up with a very experienced co-facilitator.
I KNOW things will be good. I KNOW that I am here for a purpose. I have been in situations where I've felt God speak through me and I know He's perfectly capable of doing it again. He has all the right words, and He certainly can make them come out of my mouth.
As this class gets closer, I am filled with a variety of emotions. A little fear, some nervousness....but mostly excitement. I'm excited to see what God does through this class. I know amazing things always happen (I've heard the stories!) and I know He will come through for us again.
I am also grateful. INCREDIBLY grateful for the people that God has put in my life, people who have seen potential in me and called it out and helped me to develop it. This is just another one of those situations I never would have pictured myself in if you'd asked me 2 years ago.
So anyway.....God is pretty amazing. And that's all for now. :)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Praying Big Prayers
Last night at Quarterlife we talked about prayer. We talked about praying big, bold prayers, and not being afraid to ask for anything. Coming before God with our petitions like a child comes to his or her parents. Children think their parents can do anything and everything, so no want or need seems too silly or outrageous to ask for.
What little girl hasn't dreamed of being rescued by a handsome prince, falling in love, having a fairy-tale wedding, and living happily ever after? When I was old enough to understand that that's not how things usually worked out, I would still dream and pray that God would send my my "prince charming".
When I was younger, I had my whole life planned out in my head. The kind of house I wanted, how many kids, their names, what pets I would have, what kind of car I would drive, what my husband would be like...but somewhere along the way I stopped thinking like that.
Many would say its just because I grew up and realized that everything wasn't going to be picture perfect, and exactly like I wanted it to be. Maybe because I started to figure out just how difficult life can be sometimes. Maybe because I had my heard broken one too many times. Maybe because I've been stabbed in the back my so-called friends. Maybe because someone who told me he loved me was unfaithful to me. Maybe because I have seen so many things fall apart.
All I know is, I stopped hoping for big things. Instead of dreaming of a house with a beach view (or a big lake, at the very least), I started dreaming about the tiny condo because it was affordable and realistic. Instead of a green '67 Mustang sitting in my driveway, it became a sensible and affordable Toyota Corolla. The family vacations to exotic or overseas locations every year turned into "Maybe someday I'll make it to Florida." The big back yard with a beatiful weed-free vegetable garden, swimming pool, and big trees with a hammock, became a tiny balcony or, if I was lucky, a patio with a little flowerbed around it. Instead of a family of perfectly adorable, obedient, loving children who would turn out wonderfully because I was so determined to be a good parent, I settled on hoping that they would turn out well after I did my best....because sometimes even the best parents end up w/ kids who get in trouble.
I guess part of the problem is that I feel like I'm being greedy if I ask for big things. I can pray my little heart out and beg God to let me have that house on the beach....but then I feel like I'm not being content with where I am, in my little 1-bedroom apartment, a thousand miles away from the nearest beach.
It's so hard to balance the whole "being content" thing with the "my heart longs for so much more" thing.
The biggest realization I had last night as far as what I had stopped praying for was this: The greatest desire I have, the thing that I feel God has put me on earth for, the one thing that I have no control over whatsoever....To be married, to be a wife, to be a mother.
I feel like I have overprayed this one. I've been praying for YEARS....for as long as I can remember....that God would prepare me to be a good wife for someone someday. I honestly never thought I'd make it to 26 without being married. I just assumed that since I felt so strongly that it was my calling in life, that it would happen sooner. But it didn't.
So I guess I just got to the point where I thought "God knows what I want. Why do I have to keep bugging Him about it?"
Can anyone else relate to this?
So last night, for the first time in a LONG time, I told God exactly what I wanted. I cried my eyes out and just felt so good after finally letting it out. I didn't even do that thing so many of us do, where we end our prayers with "if it be Your will" or something along those lines. I just said "This is it, God. You put this desire in my heart. This is what I want. Period."
Now, I realize that some of the specifics I prayed about may or may not be what God has for me, but I'm ok with that. And God is aware of that, so I didn't feel the need to remind Him. :) All I know is that from here on out, my prayer life is going to be different.
And I'm really excited to see the things God is going to do. :)
What little girl hasn't dreamed of being rescued by a handsome prince, falling in love, having a fairy-tale wedding, and living happily ever after? When I was old enough to understand that that's not how things usually worked out, I would still dream and pray that God would send my my "prince charming".
When I was younger, I had my whole life planned out in my head. The kind of house I wanted, how many kids, their names, what pets I would have, what kind of car I would drive, what my husband would be like...but somewhere along the way I stopped thinking like that.
Many would say its just because I grew up and realized that everything wasn't going to be picture perfect, and exactly like I wanted it to be. Maybe because I started to figure out just how difficult life can be sometimes. Maybe because I had my heard broken one too many times. Maybe because I've been stabbed in the back my so-called friends. Maybe because someone who told me he loved me was unfaithful to me. Maybe because I have seen so many things fall apart.
All I know is, I stopped hoping for big things. Instead of dreaming of a house with a beach view (or a big lake, at the very least), I started dreaming about the tiny condo because it was affordable and realistic. Instead of a green '67 Mustang sitting in my driveway, it became a sensible and affordable Toyota Corolla. The family vacations to exotic or overseas locations every year turned into "Maybe someday I'll make it to Florida." The big back yard with a beatiful weed-free vegetable garden, swimming pool, and big trees with a hammock, became a tiny balcony or, if I was lucky, a patio with a little flowerbed around it. Instead of a family of perfectly adorable, obedient, loving children who would turn out wonderfully because I was so determined to be a good parent, I settled on hoping that they would turn out well after I did my best....because sometimes even the best parents end up w/ kids who get in trouble.
I guess part of the problem is that I feel like I'm being greedy if I ask for big things. I can pray my little heart out and beg God to let me have that house on the beach....but then I feel like I'm not being content with where I am, in my little 1-bedroom apartment, a thousand miles away from the nearest beach.
It's so hard to balance the whole "being content" thing with the "my heart longs for so much more" thing.
The biggest realization I had last night as far as what I had stopped praying for was this: The greatest desire I have, the thing that I feel God has put me on earth for, the one thing that I have no control over whatsoever....To be married, to be a wife, to be a mother.
I feel like I have overprayed this one. I've been praying for YEARS....for as long as I can remember....that God would prepare me to be a good wife for someone someday. I honestly never thought I'd make it to 26 without being married. I just assumed that since I felt so strongly that it was my calling in life, that it would happen sooner. But it didn't.
So I guess I just got to the point where I thought "God knows what I want. Why do I have to keep bugging Him about it?"
Can anyone else relate to this?
So last night, for the first time in a LONG time, I told God exactly what I wanted. I cried my eyes out and just felt so good after finally letting it out. I didn't even do that thing so many of us do, where we end our prayers with "if it be Your will" or something along those lines. I just said "This is it, God. You put this desire in my heart. This is what I want. Period."
Now, I realize that some of the specifics I prayed about may or may not be what God has for me, but I'm ok with that. And God is aware of that, so I didn't feel the need to remind Him. :) All I know is that from here on out, my prayer life is going to be different.
And I'm really excited to see the things God is going to do. :)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Christmas [is] Changing the World....
Do you tell yourself "You're just a fool, just a fool to believe you can change the world?"
- Carrie Underwood, "Change".
Yesterday at church we watched a video about the amazing things that are being done through Living Water International. Every time we see one of these videos, I usually end up bawling my eyes out. Sometimes I get so choked up I can barely take a breath. It's a mix of emotions....complete joy because of the people who are being helped, but sadness over the ones who still need it.
A representative from Living Water came this weekend to accept a check for the money my church had raised during Advent Conspiracy. First, let me say how insanely proud I am to be part of a church who is so passionate about helping people around the world. My church was one of the founders of Advent Conspiracy 4 years ago, and now the thing has gone global. It's insane...aboslutely insane....how many people have jumped on this bandwagon. I can hardly believe it. It makes me proud to know that people CARE and want to help!
In our pastor's message this weekend, we talked about the Macedonians who, even in a time of great poverty and economic crisis, pulled together and took up a collection to send to the persecuted church in Israel. These people went above and beyond, trusting God to provide for them, and giving what little they had. Of course most of us in the congregation could make the connection, because our country is in this crazy economic crisis, people are losing their jobs left and right....and yet we pulled together over the Christmas season and GAVE!
$425,000.00
Yep. Four hundred, twenty five thousand dollars. That doesn't even include the money collected throughout the year. It doesn't include the money that over 200 people are collecting as they get ready to run a half marathon for Living Water. It doesn't include the money from the HUNDREDS of other churches around the world who are participating in this.
I'm EXCITED! I can't wait to hear more stories of the lives this is going to change. And I hope that within the next year I will get to experience this firsthand and go on a mission trip with Living Water.
- Carrie Underwood, "Change".
Yesterday at church we watched a video about the amazing things that are being done through Living Water International. Every time we see one of these videos, I usually end up bawling my eyes out. Sometimes I get so choked up I can barely take a breath. It's a mix of emotions....complete joy because of the people who are being helped, but sadness over the ones who still need it.
A representative from Living Water came this weekend to accept a check for the money my church had raised during Advent Conspiracy. First, let me say how insanely proud I am to be part of a church who is so passionate about helping people around the world. My church was one of the founders of Advent Conspiracy 4 years ago, and now the thing has gone global. It's insane...aboslutely insane....how many people have jumped on this bandwagon. I can hardly believe it. It makes me proud to know that people CARE and want to help!
In our pastor's message this weekend, we talked about the Macedonians who, even in a time of great poverty and economic crisis, pulled together and took up a collection to send to the persecuted church in Israel. These people went above and beyond, trusting God to provide for them, and giving what little they had. Of course most of us in the congregation could make the connection, because our country is in this crazy economic crisis, people are losing their jobs left and right....and yet we pulled together over the Christmas season and GAVE!
$425,000.00
Yep. Four hundred, twenty five thousand dollars. That doesn't even include the money collected throughout the year. It doesn't include the money that over 200 people are collecting as they get ready to run a half marathon for Living Water. It doesn't include the money from the HUNDREDS of other churches around the world who are participating in this.
I'm EXCITED! I can't wait to hear more stories of the lives this is going to change. And I hope that within the next year I will get to experience this firsthand and go on a mission trip with Living Water.
How does God speak to you?
I've had this discussion with numerous people, yet it's still something I struggle greatly with.
Some people find it so easy. They can say with confidence "God told me to do this" or "I really felt God calling me to go here." They know without a doubt what they're supposed to do.
I have never been one of those people, and sometimes it really bothers me because it makes me think maybe I'm not doing something right. Maybe I'm not spending enough time listening or reading my Bible or praying or whatever. Or I wonder if what I'm "hearing" is really just my own thoughts, or what I want to hear versus what I should actually be hearing.
This past week in a class I'm in at church, we talked about Spiritual Pathways. Basically....how do you connect with God? For some it's through nature or time spent alone. For others it's through worship. For me, it's through people. My spiritual pathway is "relational". It NEVER occured to me that being around people that I love, who love God, could possibly be a way that God speaks to me, but I am convinced that it is.
It is when I am around these people that I feel most loved and accepted. I feel I don't have to hide who I am or what I've done in the past. My life is an open book and they all love me despite my past mistakes and screw-ups. I sometimes can't understand it, but think about it...if these human people, these imperfect people who have struggles and screw-ups just like I do, can love me for who I am, then how can I POSSIBLY think that God doesn't? God is able to look past my mistakes even better than any human friend could. All those times when I've had such a hard time accepting God's forgiveness and forgiving myself, it has been through the acceptance of my friends that I've learned how to do it.
God has placed some truly amazing people in my life, and I can't even begin to express how thankful I am for them. These people encourage me and inspire me and have helped me grow into the person I am today (which is very different from the person I use to be). These friends have helped me to realize my potential and have made me realize that with God, all things really are possible....I'm in a LEADERSHIP role....in a LEADERSHIP class...Never in a million years would I have believed I would be there. NEVER. Yet here I am, and it has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life (and still continues to be).
I have learned so much about myself, why I have some of the quirks that I have, why I have certain struggles and weaknesses, what strengths I have to balance out the weaknesses....I could keep going!
This past 16-ish months have been life changing for me, and have been, by far, the most wonderful months of my life. I wouldn't ever go back to the way things were, and I can't imagine being anywhere but where I am right now.
Some people find it so easy. They can say with confidence "God told me to do this" or "I really felt God calling me to go here." They know without a doubt what they're supposed to do.
I have never been one of those people, and sometimes it really bothers me because it makes me think maybe I'm not doing something right. Maybe I'm not spending enough time listening or reading my Bible or praying or whatever. Or I wonder if what I'm "hearing" is really just my own thoughts, or what I want to hear versus what I should actually be hearing.
This past week in a class I'm in at church, we talked about Spiritual Pathways. Basically....how do you connect with God? For some it's through nature or time spent alone. For others it's through worship. For me, it's through people. My spiritual pathway is "relational". It NEVER occured to me that being around people that I love, who love God, could possibly be a way that God speaks to me, but I am convinced that it is.
It is when I am around these people that I feel most loved and accepted. I feel I don't have to hide who I am or what I've done in the past. My life is an open book and they all love me despite my past mistakes and screw-ups. I sometimes can't understand it, but think about it...if these human people, these imperfect people who have struggles and screw-ups just like I do, can love me for who I am, then how can I POSSIBLY think that God doesn't? God is able to look past my mistakes even better than any human friend could. All those times when I've had such a hard time accepting God's forgiveness and forgiving myself, it has been through the acceptance of my friends that I've learned how to do it.
God has placed some truly amazing people in my life, and I can't even begin to express how thankful I am for them. These people encourage me and inspire me and have helped me grow into the person I am today (which is very different from the person I use to be). These friends have helped me to realize my potential and have made me realize that with God, all things really are possible....I'm in a LEADERSHIP role....in a LEADERSHIP class...Never in a million years would I have believed I would be there. NEVER. Yet here I am, and it has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life (and still continues to be).
I have learned so much about myself, why I have some of the quirks that I have, why I have certain struggles and weaknesses, what strengths I have to balance out the weaknesses....I could keep going!
This past 16-ish months have been life changing for me, and have been, by far, the most wonderful months of my life. I wouldn't ever go back to the way things were, and I can't imagine being anywhere but where I am right now.
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