A lot of people have been wondering exactly what's been going on w/ me lately, so I figure I'll just answer everyone's questions all in one place. I'll go back to the beginning of September and start from there.
It all started when I had to say goodbye to a very, very dear friend. She was going to Romania, and not returning for 9 months. I knew this would be hard, as we spent a lot of time together and a lot of time on the phone. She was one of those friends I could call and plan something with at the drop of a hat. We laughed ourselves silly on Monday nights watching The Bachelorette and went to the Loop for FroYo and Chipotle a little too often. I knew I would miss her when she left, but I really had no idea just how much. I've had to say goodbye to friends before, for periods of time the same length or longer...but this was different. I would get off work after a hard day and pick up my phone to call her, only to remember that I couldn't. I'd rush home to see if she was on Skype. Sometimes she is, sometimes she's not. It was really hard to go from being able to call someone any time I wanted to, to only being able to talk to her if we happened to be on Skype at the same time.
I started feeling really strange shortly after this. I started feeling very anti-social (which you know is NOT me at all). I would find myself at church or work or out with friends and all I could think about was how much longer I had until I could leave. To go home and curl up in bed and go to sleep. I would come home from work, after only 5 1/2 hours on the job, and crash for 3 or 4 hours in the afternoon. Then, I would still be ready to fall asleep around 9:00. I started realizing that the reason I didn't want to be out being social was because it drained me. It took every bit of energy and effort I had to be myself around all these people. Things that I normally enjoyed were no longer enjoyable for me because it just took too much out of me. I started thinking maybe I was depressed, but really the only thing in my life that I really felt I was sad about was missing Kerstyn...and I didn't think that was enough of a reason to make me depressed. Plus, it is still nice and sunny and summery outside. If it were winter, it would be more understandable because I always feel a little down during the colder months.
I started trying to think of other reasons why I might be depressed. Sure, a lot of small-ish things had happened over the past month. I broke my camera (which for me really isn't small...it's kinda huge). I got in a car accident (not a bad one, but it sure has been a hassle dealing with it). I went to get new contacts, expecting them to cost me around $35 and they cost me almost $80, which really annoyed me because I can't help it that one of my eyes is extra bad and needs a special lens. I've gained just enough weight since last year that most of my fall/winter clothing doesn't fit me and I don't have the money to buy a whole new wardrobe. I'm fighting with my dad more often than not these days. My mom thinks there's something "wrong" with me, and that that's why I'm still single (yeah, that conversation really hurt). My parents, overall, have not been very understanding of the way I've been feeling lately. Their basic attitude, as far as I can tell, is "Suck it up and get over it, Jamie." (Which is exactly what I need right now.) Oh, and on top of all of this I'm just feeling overly stressed out at work.
So anyway, I decided to go see a chiropractor after my car accident. I figured if my insurance covered everything, I may as well take advantage of it. Well, as it turns out, there's a whole lot more wrong w/ me than just what the car wreck caused. My chiropractor is also an internal health specialist, so he determined after a few tests that I had adrenal fatigue. My blood pressure went down (instead of up) when I would stand up, which explained why I sometimes felt lightheaded or why it was such an effort for me to get out of a chair and walk across a room. The adrenal fatigue is caused by stress and causes depression, so really it all made sense.
During my second visit, he decided to put me on a really strict diet for a while. Basically, I could eat meat and cooked veggies and a whole lotta water. Yay. No sugar, caffeine, dairy, carbs, and a whole list of other things. It was really rough getting through the first few days w/out the caffeine, and the cravings were almost unbearable for all the things I couldn't have. But I was strong, and it produced the results he was hoping for. After the last visit I was allowed to add raw veggies and salad and fruit. It has helped to be able to have the fruit, but I'm still rather bored. I really want some sushi, Chipotle, froyo, a Banzai burger from Red Robin, coffee, a cream soda, and the pumpkin ice cream that is in my freezer.
Then, to top all of THAT off, I find out I have a gluten intolerance. Greeeaaaaaaaat. So that means even after I'm off this diet, I still can't have bread, pasta, anything made with wheat or wheat flour, or a whole list of other things.
So, stacking all of these new restrictions on me haven't helped. I mean, yes, they've helped me feel better. I don't crash after work anymore, and if I do it's only for 15 or 20 minutes, not 3 or 4 hours. But I'm just not happy about it. I'm really struggling a lot more than people might think. It's not like I just have to cut a few things out...it's a LOT of things. I was looking online at local restaurants that have gluten free menus. I saw one for the Macaroni Grill and thought maybe they had gluten-free pasta. But no, the menu basically said to order certain dishes WITHOUT the pasta. Chick-Fil-A also has a gluten free meal. It's called a grilled chicken sandwich minus the sandwich. Fun.
So that's what's been going on with me. I'm still not feeling 100%. I still struggle with getting worn out very fast, but it's SO much better than it was before. I really believe this diet has something to do w/ it getting better, as I've read that people w/ gluten issues have similar problems. So, as for now I'm just trying to deal w/ basically a complete lifestyle change. I'm having intense cravings for things I can't have, and I need them to go away soon. I've been off caffeine now for a week and two days so I think if (more realistically, WHEN) I start drinking coffee again, I will drink decaf and not have it every day. And as much as I LOOOOOVE my cream soda, that will be a special treat here and there, not something I keep stocked in my fridge. The other hard part is that I am supposed to eat every 2 hours, which is really hard to do, especially since I have to have protein and the easiest protein to cart around is a bag of nuts....but I'm not allowed to have nuts at work. Ugh. Yeah, it's been interesting trying to figure that one out, but I'll get it one of these days.
On a happy note, because gluten intolerance and Celiac Disease are becoming more and more common, more options are available to us now. I've been doing some research and have found a few kinds of bread that are ok for me to eat that people say are as good as "real" bread. (Unfortunately, they cost $6 a loaf!). Bisquick makes a gluten-free bisquick mix, as well as several cake and cookie mixes, and all of those mixes have TONS of recipes that they can be used in. For example, I can make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies using the chocolate chip cookie mix, and banana bread with the yellow cake mix and a few extra ingredients. :)
And that has been my life, lately.
